Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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