every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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