Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
love makes seman taste better
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
