He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
