Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
