I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
