my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ugly people sure do ruin things
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
