get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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