do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
