it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
