And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
