I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were trust falling into bushes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
