Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
