Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
