I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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