I wanna bring you to show and tell
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
