Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
