Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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