that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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