i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We are two peas in an std pod
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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