y did u give ur computer a hand job?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
