maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
