i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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