so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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