My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
