my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
