Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
