I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
