do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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