i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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