please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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