Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
