you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
