is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
