remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's JV to your varsity
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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