you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
