but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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