so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
