The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
