I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
