got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
