You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
