If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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