i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
