woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
