Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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