why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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