i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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