sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
