I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
