You work out of a Hotel?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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