i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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