Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
